I don’t like choice was made to try to create a centralized matrix.org service to try and be a discord, Matrix makes sense when self hosted for an organization or peer group that needs messaging while owning the platform it is distributed on. Admittedly a bit niche, which is probably why a centralized big main instance was produced on what should have been a fully federated platform.
Marrying the protocol to its most well funded client was also a huge mistake, a lot of what element does is propriatary to element making alternative frontends functionally unsupported. Matrix is very confused about what it wants to be.
That being said, i use it as a self hosted alternative to discord for me and my friends; anyone who gets added to the platform receives a light education about how the encryption key management works. Just about every discussion channel created is deliberately made an unencrypted room. I desperately wish they made the high stakes encryption an optional thing that you only enable when needed. Encryption by default can be configured per server, but the reputational damage is done and the settings are at a sysadmin level, so matrix.org is just fucked
Having the means for each spouse to get the others passwords can be pretty essential when dealing with critical emergencies and death. It’s good to have some way for someone you trust to get your online accounts when you pass away so that everything can be concluded and canceled and sentimental content preservation and all that.
For my relationship the means to gain access to my password manager are available in the case of an emergency. Maybe shove the credentials in a bank security box and put access to it into your will if you don’t feel you can trust your partner with the knowledge while you are alive.