What about crop milk? Or milk of magnesia?

Rumors are the storyline is written by George R. R. Martin.

This brings me back to my first startup job supporting a software that was used by several large corporations you’ll know.

Configuration and data entry was done by directly manipulating the prod database, with commands that were stored locally in text files, pre-written in the SQL Manager or created from Excel macros.

If you fucked up, you copied over the parts you had changed from the testing db, which doubled as the only backup.

If you started a transaction and forgot to commit or roll back, the application on the customer’s end would lock up.

The web frontend was based on hand-written html+css spaghetti code and Microsoft Silverlight.

Without any prior job experience or SQL knowledge, I got an account with domain admin rights and full write access to prod on my first day.

Only 2 people could work on the server at a time cause they didn’t want to pay for terminal server licenses.

Stanley Parable, the entire game is about making fun of the player.

Yes. In school we had a course where you programmed a virtual robot navigating through a maze.
The commands were simply “go forward”, “turn left”, etc.
Then they introduced basic programming principles one by one.
Simple loops, conditions, outputting messages, etc.
The following year, they switched us to programming in Pascal and it was basically the same thing, only now we had to learn some simple syntax.

That’s the main issue here. This fridge didn’t show ads when people bought it.
So buying things that don’t show ads isn’t enough. You need to only buy things that don’t get updates.

I just wish I could buy a cold box, a hot box, a spinny-arm water box and a spinny-drum water box without computer chips in them at all.

But then you have to give up one of your attacks to move or do anything else that takes an action

Yes. That’s generally how it is. If you first have to run to your opponent to hit them, you can’t hit them as often as if you were already there.
If you shoot while moving, you will have a lower effective rate of fire.
But my actual point is: turn-based combat is always an abstraction. I like to abstract it a bit more than DnD does, simply to avoid wasting any game time on arguing about action types.

They’re worried you’ll constantly make puns about women riding you.

This is the type of shit I dislike about DnD.
In any system I write and run, you simply get 2 actions per turn. Action types are a complication that add nothing to the game.

It’s the same shape, just reshaped

genius!

Yes. Also, tenths of newly extinct bug species.