i’d really say i have a lot of interests if i REALLY think about it. steven universe, metal family, danganronpa, south park, vocaloid, and trying to get into persona for my friend and zelda for my girlfriend. i’m also interested in doki doki literature club, wallace and gromit, craig of the creek, and probably more i can’t think of.
my girlfriend is very open about her interest in zelda and talks about the zora and the triforce a lot. she constantly talks about zelda, the game, its characters, plays it a lot even when we’re talking sometimes, etc.
she has more interests and hobbies but her main hobby is gaming, specifically zelda. i have mentioned in my posts that “ivy” is a gamer.
ivy is neurodivergent just like me, and i don’t want to be rude by telling her i wanna talk about my interests because that would be seen as me not being interested, and i really am interested in zelda and trying to get into it for her, like i said.
i hardly ever mention my interests because i’m very closed as a person and only mention my interests to people i’m really close with, like my mom.
she has asked me what my interests were a few times and i’ve talked about them, and i usually get a “cool” or “nice”. i really don’t think she’d be that interested but she might be.
one other thing? i can’t get her into my hobbies or interests either despite her wanting me to get into hers. one other interest i have, american dad, i managed to get her to watch an episode of but that was only because it was made by the creator of family guy.
she has zero interest in my interests and i wouldn’t say she’d rather play a videogame than go out with me or do my interests, but well, she would rather have me around, of course. but… she doesn’t like going out a lot and would rather play a video game than go out and is always hesitant when i ask her if she wants to do something i like.
it’s not that she doesn’t like me or prefers that to me, she really does like me and doesn’t prefer it, i’m just talking here.
afterwards, maybe i should stop talking about ivy and me so much. there’s really nothing WRONG with our relationship per se, i just need ideas on what to do to be more open.
You have told us what you both watch, but what do either of you do that isn’t just consuming someone elses creative work?
I’d say don’t be hesitant to try to get her into things. Don’t push it multiple times, but if she’s genuinely never heard of, for example, South Park, just show her an episode. If she doesn’t like it, that’s that and it’s not your fault or anything and it sounds like she’s at least willing to give things a shot for you.
Then of course try to find things you’ll both like. But do it together cause it’s more fun that way and it sucks to feel like you’re the only one trying.
But also maybe you don’t have a ton of interests to share and just enjoy each other’s company and that’s fine 🤷
Thank you!! I will try to get her into my interests and maybe I can get into hers but also we both like Metal Family. She’s really focused on gaming though, especially Zelda and doesn’t talk about much else
You could try to find something that appeals to you both. It seems to me that you like animation and character-based stories a lot, and your girlfriend is obviously a gamer, so idk, maybe you could play the hollow-knight / silk-song games, they seem popular nowadays. Else one of you will have to “budge” and get into the other’s interest.
Also, you could do a “sales-pitch” and try to convince someone (either your girlfriend or a friend) about a particular piece of media. But don’t push it. If you share what you like about it and they’re not interested then leave it at that.
Idk I’m not good at social interactions either. But good luck!!
thanks!! You are spot-on about both of us btw!!
Sure! You’re that good at describing people then. I literally just read what you wrote lmao. Best of luck!
Thank you so much!!!
Not diagnosing, but if Ivy’s autistic (I’m not an expert, though I myself am autistic), it could be very hard for her to talk about something else. I’m not necessarily saying it is hard for her or that she is autistic, as you just said she is neurodivergent but not exactly what condition she has, but I know that with me, if I’m really hyperfixated on something, it can be very hard for me to find other interests or talk about anything else. If it’s watching a show, I will often watch it for long periods of time. If it’s gaming, I will game for long periods of time.
It might be genuinely hard for her to do and talk about anything else and she might not have an interest in your topics not out of rudeness or hatred for you. I think she still loves you, it’s just it could be hard for her. Of course, this is just speculation based on my own experiences. The same could apply for neurodivergent people in general, not just autistic, though.
Your interests make sense for a person who’s always going to be in curated spaces online. And that’s not a bad thing since you’re used to having high-level, detailed, empathetic conversations with other people. Try to find intermediary interests between your current most passionate interests and those that you know will be more relatable to other people. This isn’t manipulative. People who fear silence (most Americans) tend to feel more relaxed if you’re one step ahead of the conversation.
