The Assman

How many people have insurance executives sent to an early grave?

Yeah, he’s on first

And now I’m dropping them in the chipotle bathroom

I would like to name my very rare disease “a very rare disease”. It’s what Abbott and Costello would do

All these weird numeric names. I’m gonna build a GPU and name it Jonathan.

That’s one small step for gnorts

Why drive the environment fucker 3000 and not maverick or Tacoma or one of the several other smaller trucks?

You might have to just skip this 2 minute playstation commercial

Y’all ever look at your phone too long and then your fuckwaffle hurts for three days?

Movie first, Saturday afternoon. Next it was a dinner date, and then board game night with her friends. You know, to make sure everyone is compatible.

You literally can. It’s a setting.

My dad’s face circa 1998 as I explain to him what Harry Potter is

Hey baby come over and I’ll drive against the wall for all 400 miles of the brickyard in NASCAR 2000

Crust? Mantle? We’re talking about the ocean, not pies or furniture.

Guarantee 99% of bluesky users have no idea what federation is

Imagine you’re climbing a tree and you get to the top and grab this mfer

deleted by creator

He let them add a gang of middle class scooter enthusiasts to a show about the deadliest bounty hunter in the galaxy

Neither can the future martian colonists

No thanks. 20 year old movies don’t need sequels.