Had a woodshop teacher steal my dad’s hat exactly like this.

Came here to suggest this.

I use “colorful metaphors” and “double dumbass on you” far too often.

I quote Darmok quite a bit, usually Picard’s “Gilgamesh, a King. At Uruk” line.

Highly illogical.

I’m a doctor, not an [insert appropriate role].

Referring to something as "banjaxed ".

I have been told I do a head cocking gesture exactly the way Data does it.

Gilgamesh, a king. At Uruk.