• 0 Posts
  • 20 Comments
Joined 2 years ago
cake
Cake day: June 12th, 2023

help-circle












  • That’s poly. There’s many ways on how to deal with these feelings, but acknowledging them and knowing that these aren’t wrong feelings, nor signs of “wanting to cheat” is definitely the first step.

    After that, it’s very important to speak about this with your partner, so they too can acknowledge that this is a thing and can understand ehen you talk about such feelings (in order to make sure they don’t think you’re wanting to cheat). Partners sometimes have a hard time dealing with it, been there, it sucks.

    Once you’ve built that transparency, there’s many ways to go. Generally, people tend to try out more open ways of relationships, but there is no such thing as “a universal open relationship”, every has to figure things out by themselves, with their partner(s).

    As someone who’s poly herself, I can tell you that anything related to relationships has just turned into “hardmode”.

    Either you suppress your polyamory and continue staying in a mono relationship. Been there, it didn’t work out for me long-term.

    You can try and open the mono relationship up a bit, defining key things you’re (both) allowed to do. This can include flirting, kissing, non-commiting sexual acts (one night stands), non-commited relationships (“dating” but without any commitment, “I might be gone at any time depending on circumstances with my partner”), dating with commitment (having 2 partners at the same time), in which you can also seperate between having a “main partner” and a “side partner”.

    Throughout all of this, open, transparent and completely honest communication from everyone involved is mandatory, setting rules and boundaries and accepting them is essential, communicating clearly to new partners where you stand and how those rules are set is paramount.

    Love is a strong emotion, it can make you fly over the skies, but it can also pull you into deepest, darkest depths. It’s your responsibility to ensure that the latter is being limited, for you and everyone involved, basically damage control. You will fail often, but that’s just how love is, in mono as well as poly relationships, although such failures hit you harder when in poly relationships.

    One of the most important pieces of advice I can give you is to not be ashamed about this, about being poly, about falling in love with people randomly. It’s the same as with any other thing in the LGBTQ+ space, you can’t decide about it, you just are.

    Oh right, and one of my biggest points of advice: never commit to more then 3 partners, ever. The time investment is too high to handle it and you will burn yourself out.

    There’s a lot more things I could write, but I guess this is the “poly 101”. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out :)





  • Most people understand the word “private tracker” as a website like piratebay which you can only enter if someone else invites you. It often involves a requirement to seed some amount back into the network.

    There are some names of known private trackers out there, there are ways to get an invite, sometimes it even involves something as simple as a donation (that’s how I got in, currently sitting on the leaderboard for amount of data seeded). Once you’ve entered one private tracker, there’s also easy ways to enter others, since you show credibility and commitment.

    I think that sums it up nicely.