Ugh.

Technically two syzygies.

Pretty sure that’s the emoji for “thwip”.

Oh, he’s just going down a rabbit hole! He’s going on a cute little adventure where he does a fucking Nazi salute in front of the whole country, then proceeds to recklessly dismantle huge parts of the US government, but it’s all just part of his magical little journey! Teehee!

That solves the problem this time, but it doesn’t help if I’m trying to navigate somewhere new.

If it doesn’t have the address for a 30-year-old house in a major metropolitan area, then I just don’t think it’s a viable replacement for Google Maps, unfortunately.

I’m all for swapping apps, but Organic Maps doesn’t even have my home address. And I live in a major metropolitan area.

I had a social life in college, but in my early 20s I moved across the country and had to start from scratch. So I knew how to be friends with people but not how to make friends.

Of course it’s possible. You can make friends at any age. Just don’t look to tv and movies to define what a “social life” is. It’ll probably be more sparse and less stable than sitcoms would have you believe.

The best way to start is to take up a hobby that involves interacting with real people.

Maybe it’s not obscure enough, but for me, Starflight on the Sega Genesis remains the greatest space exploration game ever made.

It was unforgiving the way games were back then, which added to the feeling that you’re just out there in unexplored space.

More than 800 different planets, most of them empty (except for resources), but that just makes it so exciting when you find an artifact hidden in ancient ruins.

And an incredible story on top of that. A huge mystery unfolds organically as solar flares start destroying planets across the galaxy and your explorable space slowly shrinks.

The back of the manual was a journal written by another starship captain who sent it to you from the future. It serves as a guide and a warning, giving some valuable locations and clues, in case you’re having trouble finding the path.

Oh, and the soundtrack! I can still bring it to mind thirty years later. Haunting.

Rereading the title sent me.

Or they could just not bring back literally the most boring villain possible.

And I want to be very clear that I’m not saying the Emperor is the most boring villain in cinema history, even though he is. I’m saying he’s the most boring villain possible.

When he was introduced in the original trilogy he was a nameless old man in a robe. Defining characteristics? None. Voice? Evil. Face? Evil. Motivation? Evil. Outfit? Featureless robe, black because he’s evil.

The best part about The Last Jedi was that they were fixing the downgrade that RotJ made of replacing the most badass movie villain of all time with – I can’t stress this enough – the most boring villain possible. TLJ killed the Emperor stand-in and set Kylo Ren up as the real villain. That was exciting.

But then they let fan forums write the third movie, and somehow, the Emperor came back.

That’s true.

With a T9 phone, I used to be able to send a complete text message without ever taking my eyes off the road.

Now that I’ve got a touchscreen I’m swerving all over the place every time I try to text. It’s way less safe.

Or just stop after the first sentence.

Have you tried saying, “Please don’t ask me that anymore”?

That will address the exact problem without being rude, without offending him, and without opening it up for more questions. You don’t owe him an explanation, so don’t leave an opening for one. Just say: “Please don’t ask me that anymore.”

If he asks why, you say, “Doesn’t matter. Please don’t ask me that anymore.”

If he offers an explanation for why he’s asking you that, you say, “Ok. Please don’t ask me that anymore.”

Neat and easy. No unintended consequences.

My wife and I do the same, and the results have been great. An old friend of mine met my daughter for the first time when she was two and a half, and she just walked right up to him and says, “Hello. My name is _____. It’s very nice to meet you.”

When my current two-year-old is in a bad mood, we’ll ask him if he’s being a curmudgeon, and he’ll say “No, I’m not being a curmudgeon.” They speak in full sentences because my wife and I speak in full sentences. They use big words because we use big words.

On the other hand my daughter is five now and still thinks it’s pronounced “breafixt” instead of “breakfast”, and we don’t correct her because it’s adorable. So we still have fun with it.

I don’t think any of this means they’re geniuses or are guaranteed success later in life or anything. They’re probably both gifted, but that just means they’re a couple years ahead. A four-year-old who talks like a six-year-old is a great parlor trick, but a twenty-year-old talking like a twenty-two-year-old isn’t going to give them a big leg up. That’s why I like to get all my bragging in now.

“customers are shopping more with Kroger now than ever because we are fighting inflation and providing great value.”

I call shenanigans. I don’t always pay close attention to the prices of all the things I buy, but one thing I do pay attention on is soda. (Probably because it’s bad for me, so I give myself additional justification to buy it or not.)

And amidst all this “inflation”, and all the talk about lowering prices back down to reasonable levels Kroger’s price just on soda just jumped 25%.

Years ago I used to get a 12-pack for $5, and sometimes there’d be a 3-for-$12 deal. When COVID hit, it was 3-for-$15. Post-COVID, $7 a box. When they raised it to $8, I stopped buying it unless it’s on sale or if my wife specifically requests it, and then I only buy one.

Then I went to Kroger a few weeks ago, and the only way to get a price under $8/box was to sign up for something on their app and sell them my personal information. So I decided not to buy from Kroger anymore.

This week my wife specifically requested a box, I was in Kroger anyway, and now it’s $10/box or 3-for-$8. Fuck that. They hit their limit with me, and there are no circumstances in which I’m paying that much for soda.

This is my second Baldur’s Gate 3 comic. I made a handful of these for reddit, and now I’m posting them here.

Here’s my previous comic:

• Wherein Orpheus Attempts to Save His Soul

This is my first ever Lemmy post. My comics did alright on reddit, so I figured I’d try them out here.