For me it was the fact that I would always be slower than everyone else and I would have to put in twice the effort.
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People die unexpectedly. Tell anyone and everyone that you love verbally that you love them (even if it’s man to man). Don’t leave anyone guessing as to how you felt about them.
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Not everyone is a friend for life, even if you’ve been friends for 5/10/20/40/80 years.
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People change and you can’t control that.
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Recording the people you love speaking; preferably while you ask them about their lives. See #1
Would’ve really sucked to be betrayed after eighty years of friendship.
Yes.
Not on that level but I’ve lost a friend because we were both a little stubborn. I’ll be the first to admit I didn’t handle the situation well (granted, we were all drunk).
But, that friend also needs to acknowledge that they too did not handle what happened in the best way and not double down by threatening to sue other friends that were at the event for a orior year’s issue.
It’s a giant mess. The last thing I told them ~2.6 years ago was that this didn’t have to be a friendship ending event. And here we are; haven’t spoken since then. Some days I miss them and other days I wonder if I’m better off without them and the energy they bring.
Uh…what happened?
That’s all I have to say about that.
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It’s been 9 years, I’m married again (happily), and my ex-wife is never coming back.
It’s difficult to go from best friends who tell eachother everything, to strangers.
It took a lot of therapy for me to realize that we both played a part in our marriage ending, and it wasn’t all my fault. But, I also learned in the process that my childhood really screwed me up, and I needed to deal with it, and reconcile with the fact that I didn’t have a loving childhood. The abuse, both verbal, physical, and sexual has had a lasting effect on me as an adult.
But, most importantly, I learned that I can heal from all of it, and grow as a person.
I think she’s happy now, and so am I. So even though I still miss her once im a while, I know things worked out for the best.
I’m honestly happy for you mate, glad you are happy again 💯
There will be a last time we do something in our lives for everything
One day your parents put you down for the last time and never picked you back up.
Realizing that I’ll never be able to achieve any of my previous hopes or “dreams”, it’s too late, and that life is fundamentally uneven and unfair.
Similarly, realizing there’s no sense of “karma” or balance in real life, it’s just a crutch that people can use to justify or rationalize things.I won’t be a father and possibly not even an uncle.
That i wasnt born the opposite gender and that i was born in a transphobic country
Im sorry you have to deal with that. If i could take that away, I would. There are still people that support you <3
They never loved me and I’ll be ok without them
Lemmy loves you.
That ultimately, no matter how many people I surround myself with, I will always feel alone.
It might be time to talk to a professional about that.
Tuesday, actually. Really.
Good and I’m/we’re here to talk if you need it.
Seriously.
Knowing the people who I ideally want to date or would have a better chance of dating, will forever be out of my reach because of missed opportunities in the past. For example, there’s a couple of friends I know I would’ve loved to date. One of them I could’ve had but nobody said anything to eachother and it had been 14 years ago when that chance came and went. We just mesh well together and can go the distance when it comes to conversing and getting along. But, I’m forever friend-zoned because nobody said anything when emotions were high back then.
And another thing is accepting the fact that you aren’t as compatible with some of your friends when you thought you were. The painful part is realizing this after so long. I had a massive friend exodus last year. I’ve lost friends whom I’ve been with for 15 years, 10 years, 5 years and 3 years in that order. And it was simply because at somepoint, we just ignored the part where we weren’t as heavily compatible as we once were. And it showed the more times we were at odds with eachother. Hell, I lost another friend this year who I had hit it off well for 3 going 4 years and it’s the same example.
“Friends come in and out of your life like busboys in a restaurant, did you ever notice that?”
Stephen King
I’ll probably die a virgin. They won’t be able to come up with a movie about that. Lame.
That a bunch of barbarians from north and western Europe whose primary values were ownership, sequestration, exploitation, and domination set the political, economic, social, and psychological agenda for an entire planet. True, this may have been the mode of survival from Rome to the Renaissance, but why are we still locked into it now?
The next part of this comment includes crude generalizations of 1st to 18th century for every continent. Historians, feel free to clarify. Ahistorical boobs, at least be willing to ask questions before you attack.
Turtle Island sustainability and oral history, Asian cosmic coexistence, Middle Eastern knowledge preservation, African social development, East Asian detente, Australo-Pacific deep time and vast exploration, and/or panhumanistic duty to family — no. Every other culture and value system expressed by non-Europeans was summarily suppressed, violently undercut, and disregarded as backward, non-Christian drivel. This continues into today.
Gangsters, germ warfare, rapid industrialization — yes. Every means of short-term gain, power concentration, expansionism, and advantage-taking is normal. Inter- and sometimes intra-familial feuding, marriage pacts, and warmongering is normal.
Sometimes, it seems that almost ANY other system than the one we have now — centered on wealth and weapons — would be an improvement. However, ever other system can not contend with the threats of wealth and weapons.
TL;DR
I’m frustrated that European values of ownership, exploitation, and domination have dominated the world, suppressing sustainable and diverse systems from other cultures (like Indigenous, Asian, and African traditions). These exploitative systems, focused on short-term gain and power, still shape our world today. I wonder why we’re stuck in this destructive framework and think almost any other system might be better—though none seem able to challenge the current dominance of wealth and weapons.
That it’s only gonna be worse from there on
People are disappointing, even family
Blood doesn’t make someone family; the bonds we form with someone make them family.
Disappointing doesn’t even feel like a strong enough word.
How about disgustipated?
I feel this in my soul unfortunately. Learned some wild stuff about my family not too long ago and it’s hard to reconcile things now.
Same, not recent but I have a long list of eye opening facts I’ve collected throughout my life. Eventually you just accept it all. It’s not been easy to get to this point, it took a lot of mental anguish to get this numb to it all.
That America is a failed country, and there’s no point to staying and fighting if I can get out
I really wish I had a feasible way out.
probably that the majority of people are self serving and extremely fake. it’s pretty insane how many “activists” there are that hate the people they supposedly want to protect.
That happens because it’s a social act. People who don’t want to, but have to due to some sort of obligation or as an indirect action towards achieving something else.
Activism is a chore they have to do, so without people in charge sincere in what they do and aware of this type of obligation, any attempt at serious activism will end up half-baked and likely to do more harm than good.
It’s tough to find people who do something for the sake of it and not as a springboard meant to pursue other interests.
Good observation. At least with some of the more rational Republicans that I have conversed with over the years in the US, that has been one of their complaints with people on the left. That is where some of them come up with “nanny state” (setting aside that they have dozens of other ways they would love to create a nanny state themselves).
